某天林兄（林则徐）和辫子哥（某皇帝）又畅步在御花园：“林兄，听说最近有人吸毒身亡，看来邪恶的毒品又滋生力量了！”辫子哥。
林兄：“‘吸毒’这种新鲜事儿，大家不了解，都想跟上潮流时代，结果，纵火烧身，不足为惜。不足为惜。”说完这话突然又意思到自己哪里好像没怎么说对，林兄连忙又改着口，“说来确是可惜，多么年轻的一个生命啊！”
“我问的是你有没有什么法子，降降火，不是让你谈这个，你有什么要求，尽管提，我的意思是已经都死人了，我实在没办法，你一向有手段，可懂！”辫子哥急了，毕竟死了人。
“一个月之后见面！”林兄面露喜色自信踌躇的出了南大门，准保没事儿。
“革命（禁烟）开到推车的事是很少有的，革命的完结，大概只由于投机者的潜入。内里蛀空，任何主义的革命都是如此。但不正是因为黑暗，没有出路，才要革命的么？倘必须前面贴着‘光明’和‘出路’的包票，这才雄赳赳地去革命，那就不但不是革命者，简直连投机家都不如了。虽是投机，成败之数也不能预卜的。现在的民众，只看‘头’和‘女尸’。只要有，无论谁的都有人看。”
“不就是要求减少人的伤亡嘛，我把广东〈重灾区〉的‘药铺’全部给取缔了不就是！”林兄这样想，也正打算这样做。就这样，一个月之后，御花园，辫子哥和林兄，又在一同散步了。
“上次你说的带着降火的解药来，如今怎样了？”“我已备齐。”广东那边的灾民已基本得到救助、安置，这里我们相信林兄的实力！“你说明白点，我怎么越听越糊涂了！”
“按照您的吩咐，为了减少更多的人民生命财产受到损失，我关停了广东所有的烟馆，下一步我准备关停……”林兄咳了又咳。“XXX，滚！”辫子哥怒了，差点给气死。“叫你给找降火的方子，你把烟馆给我全关停了，洋人那边你来应付？”
说完这话，辫子哥就急步南大门去了。后面跟着的死党李XX，提了个烟斗：“这是办事不力，耍小聪明，估计得回家好好修整一段时间才给重用了啊！”林兄愣住了足足五秒钟，才连忙赶紧跪下；辫子哥差不多走出去也有十米开远了。
后时逢广西群众闹事，这天辫子哥和林兄又一同散步在御花园。不同的是，林兄这次只默默的走在后面，一声不开：“难道是上次办事不够彻底？”而且辫子哥也一直在讲关于广西的群众性事件。林兄这年六十好几！在去广西的路上，后来就死了！
——边策之死有感（如有雷同，纯属抄袭）
One day, Lin Xiong (Lin Zexu) and Braided Brother (a certain emperor) strolled in the imperial garden again: “Lin Xiong, I heard that someone died of drug overdose recently. It seems that the evil drugs are growing in strength!” Braided Brother.
Lin Xiong: “This new thing of ‘drug abuse’, everyone doesn’t understand, they all want to keep up with the trend of the times, as a result, they burn themselves, not worth pitying. Not worth pitying.” After saying this, he suddenly realized that he didn’t seem to say something right, Lin Xiong quickly changed his mouth, “It’s a pity to say, what a young life!”
“I’m asking if you have any methods to reduce the fire, not to let you talk about this, what are your requirements, just mention it, my meaning is that people are already dead, I really have no way, you always have means, can understand!” Braided Brother was anxious, after all someone died.
“See you in a month!” Lin Xiong showed a confident smile and walked out of the south gate. He was sure nothing would happen.
“It’s rare for a revolution (ban on smoking) to reach the cart. The end of the revolution is probably due to the infiltration of opportunists. The inside is hollowed out, and any ideological revolution is like this. But isn’t it because of the darkness and no way out that we need a revolution? If we have to stick a ticket with ‘brightness’ and ‘way out’ in front of us before we go to revolution boldly, then we are not only not revolutionaries, but even worse than opportunists. Even if it’s opportunism, the number of success or failure can’t be predicted. The people nowadays only look at ‘heads’ and ‘female corpses’. As long as there are any, no matter whose they are, someone will watch.”
“It’s just asking to reduce casualties. I’ve banned all the ‘drug stores’ in Guangdong <the disaster area>! That’s it!” Lin Xiong thought so and was about to do so. Just like that, a month later, in the imperial garden, Braided Brother and Lin Xiong strolled together again.
“Last time you said you brought a remedy to reduce the fire. How is it now?” “I have prepared everything.” The disaster victims in Guangdong have basically been rescued and resettled. Here we believe in Lin Xiong’s strength! “You explain clearly, I’m getting more confused as I listen!”
“According to your instructions, in order to reduce more losses of people’s lives and property, I shut down all the opium dens in Guangdong. Next step I plan to shut down…” Lin Xiong coughed and coughed again. “XXX, get out!” Braided Brother was angry and almost suffocated. “I asked you to find a way to reduce the fire. You shut down all the opium dens for me. How do you deal with the foreigners?”
After saying this, Braided Brother hurriedly went to the south gate. His dead friend Li XX followed him with a pipe: “This is incompetence and playing smart. I guess he has to go home and recuperate for a while before he can be reused!” Lin Xiong was stunned for a full five seconds before he quickly knelt down; Braided Brother had almost walked out about ten meters away.
Later when there was a mass incident in Guangxi, Braided Brother and Lin Xiong strolled together in the imperial garden again. The difference was that Lin Xiong just walked silently behind him without saying a word: “Could it be that I didn’t do enough last time?” And Braided Brother kept talking about the mass incident in Guangxi. Lin Xiong was over sixty years old! On his way to Guangxi, he died!
Reflections on Bian Ce’s death (if there is any similarity, it is purely plagiarism)